Controversial Contemplations on Necessity

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Do people need astrology readings? Yes.

Do people need my insight? Yes.

Do people need to know how to read and write? Yes.

Wherever there is need.

Some people are in the business of desire, which is much easier than the business of need, but when I closed the shop last year, I closed the shop on the business of desire.

I am in the business of need. Wherever there is a need to be met that I can meet. Yes, it’s tiring. No, it’s not glamorous. Service is not glamorous; it’s about filling a need. All so that I may better be of service.

Will service buy me an Audi? Do I need an Audi? If not, then probably not. And by the way, there’s nothing wrong with desire, but it is (usually) different than need.

Now, you can desire to have your needs met, but if you’re being of service, then that’s a given.

Now, time in contemplation is necessary for the poet, the philosopher, the sage, which you will be given plenty of as you need it.

One mustn’t busy oneself running around like a chicken; that’s what fearful people do, and I am a brave one. Strong and steady like a tree, extending my branches for whomever does need them.

I once spent time navel gazing, but all I found was a dead soldier asking if I could help out. That’s what happens when you ask to be of service; sometimes dead soldiers show up with requests.

The days of idolatry are over for those who wish to serve. Not even the tiniest idol will do. This is much more difficult than it may seem. I look searchingly for reservations and quickly find I have a few. Do I ask the Gods for help? Or do I just continue to push the boulder uphill? What if I just let it roll? What if I stop complaining? What if I just show up and be grateful for what I have?

I meant so truly to be more poetic, but when the Gods speak, I open my mouth when prompted.

Can you imagine trying to write for other people? Can you imagine trying to convince them that something is real?

I once (or twice) judged others so harshly while I used smoke and mirrors to divert the truth of my own weakness. Others too are quite good with smoke and mirrors; that’s why they come off as perfectly alright!

But people have problems. Even Joe Rogan has to fight the demons away. It’s serious business, walking at an angle when everyone else seems to fall in line. Gods help us.

I held off as long as I could, but I knew this time was coming, which is why I made it so.

But what happens when things are necessary? It might not mean fortune and fame, self-aggrandizing. Having desires is such a burden, being driven by them like I am the mule!

Wanting what other people have - Do you also want their problems? Remember, they’re either using smoke and mirrors, or they’re just lucky and others aren’t. How about that for a thesis?

The best role we can give to Palestinians is to say they are mirrors for the horrors of humanity. I could find a heartless disposition, or I could just not consider them at all. Is one better than the other? Can we even moralize a karmic quandary? Or do we get to resign their fates (the Palestinians) to the Gods?

For obviously these tides must do their turning, and maybe observing enlarges my capacity for love. But that’s being idealistic, which has its own time and place.

Like, I still believe I can make the phone ring with my mind, but it usually happens when I’m not expecting it.

I took Donald Trump out of my first book because I was afraid of how controversial it would be to say he’s welcome at the dinner table.

Well, I can say, today, I’ve overcome that fear.

Must I be totally devoid of desire? For surely, I desire to be of utmost service, and if my words bring help, then the more that people read them, then the more I can be of service (Hail Rahu!)

Hail logic! Hail necessity. I bow my head. Whatever is needed.

I mean, I could do many things, like stretch myself thinly like a thread of gold, never to break.

But what about silver if’en I need to hide? Or copper to keep my water clean.

Do you believe in miracles? Because I do. Spinning a thread and watch the water arrive. It’s quite precarious to walk so closely to the edge of discomfort to see how long I can stand right up to the flames, straight blazing, just to prove my medal to a few but mostly myself. Oh, and also refinement. Isn’t that the way metals are tested? Put into the flame and come out stronger and more pure?

Not many people come to suburban America to write a book, but in Deer Park, TX can be found many refineries.

I went to H-E-B on Sunday, and they forgot to bag my avocado. I tried to share even a glimmer of light with them, the cashier and the bagger. I tried my best to not get depressed being there. Markets used to be a place of excitement, a place of intrigue. Today I’m just grateful to buy green sauce with a picture of a guy’s face on it and not some bullshit corporate brand. Fuck off, Tostidos.